You've just found out that your niece or nephew has a disability, a disorder, or a rare disease, and you want to start things off in the right direction by learning what to do to help.  Or maybe you've known for a while about the special little one's diagnosis, but up until now haven't known where to start when trying to be the Auntie that your sibling and your niece or nephew really need.  Here are 5 tips every auntie of a specials needs child should know:

Research
The first step is to immerse yourself in anything and everything having to do with your special child's diagnosis.  Buy books, search online, ask around, seek out every resource possible to find the information you need.  Often times (as in the case of autism) there is more than one school of thought on causes and cures, so don't limit yourself to one theory alone.  Soaking in all the information available will help you support your sibling, help you cope, and most importantly--help you understand and relate to your niece/nephew.    

Support
So much of a special needs child's success revolves around the support that they and their parents receive.  Respect the decisions of your sibling about whatever they decide is best for their child.  Parents know what is best for their children, so learn how to give advice when it is asked for, and be available as an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on.  Offer to come over to your sibling's home and watch your niece or nephew so that their parents can go on a date night, or so they can simply have time to pay the bills or run errands.  As parents of a special needs child, their time has likely become so stretched that a "break" might not necessarily be about getting time to themselves, but just about getting time, period.  Every moment of their time is taken up caring for their special needs child (and any other children they might have), and it's often a struggle to balance all the everyday responsibilities.  

Gather
Circle the wagons, call in the reinforcements, get everyone in your life and your sibling's life involved in helping this special little child.  Most of the time there is such a huge financial burden that comes along with the various diagnoses that a typical family cannot afford on their own, everything the child will need to cope, recover and live.  Your sibling will likely also need help thinking outside the box to come up with alternative ideas for financial assistance.  

Encourage
Uplift and applaud your sibling constantly for their enormous efforts as parents.  Parents bear a great burden as it is, which usually goes quietly unnoticed, but the burden that parents of special needs children endure is only magnified.  Most people can never begin to understand these parents' struggle, or their sacrifice.  Don't hesitate to affirm them every single time you see them.  It might seem like overkill to you, but it might also be the one thing that they needed that day to keep on going.  Ask them how they are coping or feeling, be compassionate and understanding, and be there for them when they need a break.  It's not uncommon for parents of special needs kids to feel alone and desperate.  Help them find other parents like them whom they can relate to, as well as people to answer their questions.

Understand
Remember that your special needs niece or nephew loves you so very much, even though she/he may not be able to communicate those feelings as well as typical children.  Don't ever give up showering them with love just because it doesn't seem like they notice or want it, because they most certainly *do* notice and want your love.  If anything, they likely notice and remember your attempts at affection much more than other children, they just can't express it to you.  The love is inside their head and body, but it can't escape. Can't get out.  By never giving up, you prepare them and teach them how to love so that the one day when they *can* express it, you are on their short list of where to go first with that hug and smile.  

Special needs children are not only different in their development or behavior, but they also require a "village" surrounding them and their parents in order to fully experience life as we know it.  As an auntie of a special needs child, you are just as vital to their growth and happiness as their doctors, therapists and advocates, and every ounce of your effort can make a profound difference in their life.