Once in a while, we come across a guest Expert who has something impactful to contribute to the Savvy Auntie Community. Since April is Autism Awareness Month, we invited Bonnie Sayers,a freelance writer/editor that has many Autism Family Adventures and writes about Autism Spectrum Disorders, to share her thoughts on the occasion.

Families with a child or teen on the autism spectrum might not attend many family functions due to the location, sensory or feeding issues.  Some may prefer to have relatives visit their home to make it easier on the autistic family member.  This is especially true when they are on a special diet so that their specialty food is readily available.  The other reasons include being able to follow their routine and be in their safe environment.

But still, there are occasions when your autistic niece or nephew may come to visit you, or you may go there for an extended period of time. These tips should help you prepare:

Be aware of their special needs

Use pictures: If the child or teen on the autism spectrum is nonverbal, they may utilize a communication device with pictures to request specific items. There may be a schedule posted of their daily routine. I suggest pictures be taken at the next gathering so that the photo can be placed on their schedule alerting them that you will be visiting again on a specific date.  For example, months before summer camp starts, I gather the photo album to share with my nonverbal son. I do the same thing prior to the start of school. You may want to bring along a photo album showing highlights from holiday celebrations through the years. 

Find common ground: A good way to break the ice during these family events is to find a common ground you both share.  This could be a special book or toy that you bring each time.  You could also have a picture card made of the item so this is associated with the visit.  Try to find out if their interests have changed since the last time you were together.

Find something that soothes them: It is possible that the person with autism has some rituals or self stimulatory behavior that they do often or constantly to self-soothe.  My son likes to play with string and is very tactile.  He will gravitate to the purse or briefcase of anyone who enters our home.  I try to have a book or writing tablet handy so he is not grabbing the property of others.  The person might engage in spinning or hand flapping.  It is also possible that they will not use direct eye contact when carrying on a conversation with you.   

Find activities that help them focus: Children on the autism spectrum go through phases with their interests that could focus on trains, dinosaurs, weather, cats, game shows, specific characters or videos.  They might like doing puzzles or building toys. 

Safety precautions when they visit you

If the child or teen on the autism spectrum is visiting your home, you will need to be aware of some safety and security issues. Before a scheduled visit, walk the perimeters of the house and check doors, locks and windows. Walk around the streets and scout for pools and neighborhood dogs in yards.  You'll need to know if  your niece or nephews is scared of dogs, helicopters, sirens and whether the child is verbal or not, so you can do your best to stay clear. 

Children with autism are runners and will wander off if they are not being watched.  These incidents also happen at relatives homes and when people are off guard. There could be many people at the home for an event and the child slips away easily. Other times a child darts out of the house and is gone in an instant. If you are heading off to the store and leaving another relative or friend to watch the child, consider bringing the child and adult with you to be on the safe side. Do not leave the child alone with a sleeping adult to run an errand.

Besides the risks of having a child that could escape the home, there are also dangers inside the home at various times of the year. During the holidays, for example, you need to be cautious with Christmas trees and decorations, electric heaters and fire dangers.

Summer time safety

During the summer months, when you are outdoors using the barbecue and the pool, dangers are evident. If you have a pool, the cover needs to be utilized with the gate closed. 
If you’re having a summer BBQ, in most cases, the family will still bring the special foods the child has to eat, but it would be helpful to obtain their required diet list to avoid any unnecessary meltdowns.  Depending on the severity of their autism diagnosis, the child might not abide by table manners and could lack basic common sense skills.  It is helpful to spell out directions in simple sentences and wait a few seconds for them to answer or continue with a conversation.  

And by all means, be wary of using fireworks for summer parties. These can very disturbing to an autistic child.

By taking the steps ahead of time your visit will be less stressful on all members of the family, which will mean more family celebrations in the future.